Major Writing #1
This assignment is the usual requirement of 5 pages and the subject regards the discipline that we may be entering in the future. In other words we are writing about the field we plan to head into. We must include six sources and if we want to we can include an interview that we conduct ourselves with someone in our regarded field. This is unlike any assignment I have ever done so I am interested and excited for it. -what is the difference between academic and nonacademic writings? -does an interview count for one of the sources so we do not have to include 7 sources -when is this due?
This was a really strong paper. Overall I really enjoyed reading it and learned a lot of information. Your sources are strong. I also enjoyed the use of a visual image.
ReplyDeleteIn the introduction you begin to describe the layout of an academic source and you do not necessarily need to include that much information. Just give general broad statements in the introduction. You could take that information and actually move it into your academic portion of your paper.
Second, in your conclusion you go into detail about the academic sources but not so much the non-academic sources. Summarize what you talked about for both types of sources. Add a little more information for non-academic sources in the conclusion as well.
Lastly there is just minor format errors. Do not bold the title. Make sure you put the image in the paper correctly. Also maybe break up some longer sentences.
Overall, I found the paper to have good use of citations and explanations of those citations, especially within the second half of the paper (non-academic). You were able to clearly and concisely state your points and explain them well within the citations you provided. However, because of the dedication in the non-academic section, the academic section of your paper feels lacking in areas.
ReplyDeleteI found that your intro could be improved on. The opening sentence feels a bit confusing in the word structure. As well, when you are explaining the format of academic writings, I feel it was out of place compared to the summary of non-academic writings you provide right below. Perhaps rewrite the academic sentences to write a better summary of what academic writing is instead of what the format is.
There were some minor formatting issues in the paper. The graph you provided in the academic section was positioned strangely on the page and was between two sentences creating a lot of empty white space. As well, while the non-academic section is good, some paragraphs are a bit long, especially when compared to the academic portion. I would advise perhaps dividing the paragraphs to allow an easier read for the viewer.
Finally, the conclusion was nice and was able to summarize the points quite nicely. However, I wish that there was more to the conclusion for the non-academic portion. Compared to the academic summary, it felt a bit bare.
Overall, great citation choice in non-academic and explanation of your thoughts. Just a few minor issues, here and there, but overall a great first draft for a paper.